Episode 39: "I hated my body" – Cara's journey from pelvic pain to power
In this deeply moving episode, Cara shares her powerful story of living with chronic pelvic pain – and the transformation that came when someone finally listened.
For years, Cara cycled through emergency departments, scans, procedures and specialists, only to be told "there's nothing wrong" despite debilitating pain.
The medical system left her feeling gaslit, hopeless, and deeply disconnected from her own body. She hated her body. She couldn't look in the mirror. And she believed no one would ever be able to help her.
Then everything changed.
Please note: Due to technical recording issues, the audio quality varies in parts of this episode but we felt Cara's story was too important not to share.
In this honest conversation with Dr Peta Wright and Paula Hindle, Cara reflects on the turning point in her healing – and the practices that helped her reclaim safety, agency, and even love for her body.
In this episode:
How years of medical dismissal and "normal" test results deepened Cara's pain and eroded her trust in her own body
The moment someone finally asked about her life story – and why that question changed everything
The embodied practices that supported Cara's nervous system regulation, from vulva gazing to yoga and meditation
How Cara learned to choose her own tools in moments of pain rather than returning to emergency
The beauty Cara now sees in her body, her cycle, and her life – and her message of hope for others still in the darkness
This episode is for you if:
You're living with pelvic pain and feeling alone, unheard, or stuck in cycles of medical appointments that aren't helping.
Or if you're a practitioner who wants to understand what truly supports women on their healing journey – beyond protocols and prescriptions.
Cara's story is a testament to the power of being believed and listened to, the importance of addressing the whole person, and the courage it takes to do the deeper work of healing.
Trigger note: This episode includes discussion of medical trauma, pelvic pain, mental health challenges, and past trauma. Please listen with care.
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Find out more about our Heal Your Pelvic Pain online program here.
If you're a practitioner, you can find out more and register for our upcoming Transformational Medicine Program and Retreat here.
Episode transcript
[00:00:00] Today's episode of Women of the Well is a very special one. We are joined by Cara, who generously shares her personal journey living with pelvic pain, not just the symptoms, but the emotional, relational and identity layers that so often go unseen. Pelvic pain can be isolating, confusing, and deeply invalidating.
Many women are told their scans are normal, yet their lived experience is anything but. By sharing Cara's story, our hope is that women listening who are suffering similarly, feel seen less alone and more hopeful that they recognize themselves in her journey and realize that healing is possible even if the path isn't linear.
Full practitioners, Cara's story offers something equally important, a reminder that pelvic pain is never just a body part or a diagnosis. It is shaped by nervous system and patterns. Lived experience, trauma, relationships, and the stories women carry about their bodies. Listening deeply to patient voices like Kyra's helps us become more attuned, compassionate, and effective [00:01:00] clinicians.
This conversation is about honesty, complexity, and the courage it takes to stay with the healing process, even when it's hard.
Welcome to Women of the Well. This is a podcast to help you heal, learn, and feel empowered to take back your body and your healthcare. Hosted by Gynecologists, Dr. Peta Wright, Dr. Theola, and holistic counselor, Sam Lindsay German. This is for women who want to remember the magic, beauty, and power in their bodies to live a healthy life that's true to themselves.
This podcast is for information and educational purposes only, and is not intended as a substitute for medical advice diagnosis or treatment. Before we start today's episode, we would like to acknowledge and show our deep respect to the Jiniburra people as the traditional custodians of the beautiful land we are recording this on.
We pay respect to their elders past, present, and across time, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. [00:02:00] Now it's time to replenish yourself by the well.
Hello, this is Dr. Peta Wright and I've got fabulous Paula Hindle with me today, and we've also got amazing Cara Pritchard, who is one of our amazing women who has had a pelvic pain journey, I would say. She has really courageously come on today to talk to us about her experience with public pain. In our last episode of talking to someone about this, we framed it as kind of like a heroine's journey of
coming through the other side of that. So welcome. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for having me. So, Cara, can you paint us a bit of a picture about what your experience of pain was like before we started this? Um, for me, I didn't, I knew, like, obviously I had the [00:03:00] pain, but I didn't really know what was going on in my body.
So there was a lot of fear. And 'cause the amount of pain. I was in it catastrophized, so I thought there was something seriously wrong. So I'd be going to the emergency hospital, they would do scans. There's nothing wrong and they send me on my way really. And that was a cycle for probably at least five years.
What, what was your experience of having to go to emergency like. I guess from what I know now, it, they're not equipped for anything like that. But I didn't know that at the time. I didn't know what was going on with my body. It was very scary. And then to be told that there's nothing wrong with you. In my head I was like, well no, there has to be 'cause I'm in all this pain.
There has to be something wrong there. They haven't got the right scan or it's something else. I remember there was one point where I, I went in and I spent about three weeks in a private hospital and I did every other scan, but a pelvic scan. I had a colonoscopy, an [00:04:00] endoscopy, um, and that's when they found the seven centimeter fibroid.
Now, that didn't relate to my pain, but it just felt a little bit degrading because I were doing every other test when I was telling them I was having this pelvic pain and they were just like, no, there's nothing. And then even when they did, I remember them doing it at pelvic skin. I don't know if it showed up or not, but that was right at the end of my stay.
I finally had a gynecologist come in and do an examination, and that's when they found it. But then I think not long after that, I started seeing you probably about six months to a year. I started seeing you after that. But in between that though, again, there was many more. Even after I had the fibroid taken out, there was still countless emergency visits.
So you had a lapar to look for endometriosis and to take out that fibroid. Yeah. And then a marina as well. We tried the marina and I got that [00:05:00] taken out pretty much straight away. Um, I, I really think looking back now, the, having that laparoscopy probably made my pain worse. One, because the fear, because my lack of understanding, I still wasn't really explained.
I was just told I had this seven centimeter fibroid, which was quite large and it needed to be taken out. There was no sort of other information around that. Uh, it actually did make my pain worse than what it was, which I was already in quite a bit of pain. It just increased the emergency of visits and then to be told again, there's nothing wrong with you.
I think that affected me a lot mentally. So there was a lot of mental hospital visits as well, uh, around that time because you definitely internalized a lot. You sort of go like, even though there's the connection between the brain and pain, it's like. I'm sort of going crazy 'cause I'm in this pain.
There's nothing wrong. I really internalized that and my self-talk towards myself. I really hated my body. I hated getting periods. There was a [00:06:00] fear every time a period came up because the pain increased even further. So like the side of any of that would just increase. Increase my pain and my fear. It was just one thing after another and it piled on.
It made things worse and no one took the time then to. Um, I didn't even know how the proper women's cycle worked. I didn't know any of that, so I didn't know what was going on. Nobody was explaining it to me. So of course I was going to emergency and, and to hospital for my mental health and yeah, I was, I was in a really dark place and I had no way of getting it out 'cause no one knew how to help me either.
And it must have also felt like now you've had these treatments that you're supposed to have for pelvic pain, had the laparoscopy. You don't have endometriosis, you had the fibroid removed. I think you were in the Mirena, but you also probably from memory, you'd been on lots of other pills and hormones.
And so to be doing all those things that you're supposed to [00:07:00] do, but then also to still have pain and still be getting worse and being told that there's nothing else wrong, must have felt really scary. Yeah, it definitely was. And I think that fear drove the pain even more. Because you're getting told there's nothing wrong with you, but in your head you're like, well, I'm in all this pain.
There has to be, it has to be serious 'cause I'm in this level of pain. And, and I think from a young age, a lot of us are told if you're in a serious amount of pain, that there has to be something wrong with you to normal, but feeling. Yeah. And so I was convinced there was something seriously wrong with me.
Um, and there just wasn't well like. Or your pain was real? Yeah, absolutely. There were things that were happening physiologically to cause that pain. I didn't have the knowledge. I mean, there was definitely things that I guess I could have been doing that I wasn't like my lifestyle, those sort of things.
But I think when you are in it and you've been told there's nothing [00:08:00] wrong, and I got told at times in emergency that, oh, you're just here for the pills. And so by internalizing a lot of that, I was a smoker at the time. I ate so much junk, like it turned into a comfort thing, so it wasn't nourishing my body either.
And so there was definitely things that I could have been looking back. Hindsight's a great thing. There was definitely things I could have been doing differently, but also I was just trying to cope and get by each day. Um, and all of that, like the. Fear that you had and then the medical gaslighting is gonna be shifting your nervous system into a state where you're craving sugars and things like that.
Yeah. That's where you can get into that spiral and the shame and yeah, it's just me and um, that's gonna drive pain even more. Yeah, absolutely. I think my nervous system and the tightness in my pelvis was just on all the time. Because of that fear and that feeling that nobody else in the world gets what I'm [00:09:00] going through it because I, no one's been able to help.
Mm. And then it sort of turns into, well, nobody will ever be able to help me 'cause nobody's helped me for years and years. Mm-hmm. It was just a little bit of fate that I, I, I met Peta, so that would've been over Christmas, maybe the beginning of 2021. Yeah. And I think my husband Rob, who's also a gynecologist.
Was on call for the weekend and you must have gone to hospital.
Rob was on call at the time and he was in there and so he spoke to the gynecologist I had at the time. Then I believe he spoke to you, Rob spoke to you. I remember he said that, yeah. You had obviously being frequently going to Ed, hadn't been getting answers, couldn't get on top of pain.
I think you were in hospital with pain relief and maybe some. Ketamine infusion or something, but doing all the things to help. But Rob said, I don't know, but I think there's something else happening here. I remember you both came over to see me. I worked in the [00:10:00] city and we still had your hospital like ID that joint had kind of come out the just come out for the appointment.
Yeah. And I guess it was almost like you were trying to take control of your health by saying, I know there's something that's not being addressed. Is it the marina that needs to come out? But like Paula had said, your interactions with the new medical system combined with ongoing pain, which worsen your mental health, leads you into a place where you're doing all of the things that can help you feel better, suit yourself, help you to survive, which is your body trying to do.
I had just led you into this, this kind of dark place, and you were a bit stuck. Yeah, and all the medical people were like, oh, we don't know what to, yes. And that must have also been feeling like when all the doctors are being like, oh, we don't know. It was a very emotional time. There was anger, there was fear, there was sadness.
And on top of that, I'm dealing with pain and I think [00:11:00] pain can make you very vulnerable anyway. And yeah, it was a really dark time for me. I just keep thinking because it was that weird time over Christmas where also. The doctors are covering each other, and so they might just be on for like a day. And so it wasn't your doctor that you'd had before.
And then because it was like, I think often for many gynecologists who don't deal a lot with complex chronic pain, it would've been that situation of, well, we don't know you. We don't wanna make any decisions about your care. We don't know the whole. History. So it's like, we'll just stay there, keep having the painkillers until the next day when it we somebody else's issue.
Absolutely. The painkillers add another layer too with I guess what they do to your system and it reduced the pain, but it didn't help my body, so then it was causing pain again. So it was, nothing was really helping, even though people, I guess they were doing their best to help. They just, they don't have the knowledge either, which would've [00:12:00] felt incredibly scary.
Absolutely. When you already. Scared and don't have a plan. It was a very lonely journey too, because I hadn't heard of anyone else going through what I'd been through, and so I felt like I was the only one in the world going through it, which was very scary. And you kind of alluded to it at that time, how did you relate to your body?
Like did you trust it? I hated my body. I had such a disgust for my body. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror. I covered up as much as I could, and anytime, I guess any niggling little, even if it was a headache or something simple like that, there would be this hate for my body. And why is my body doing this to me instead of nourishing it and taking care of it?
I had a hate for my body. And so that turned into, I guess it was a little bit like, well, if I'm gonna be in all this pain and no one [00:13:00] can help me, I'm gonna eat what I want and I'm gonna, you know, at the time I smoked it was sort of like, what's the point? And which again, didn't help things at all. It made the pain worse again and had a flow on effect.
But yeah, it definitely, I had a real, I don't think I hated anything more at the time than my body. Very angry. And so when you had that turning point, you wrote up, when he saw you, did he say, what was the, do you remember what happened? I roughly remember. He, he mentioned you and he said, can't remember his exact words.
He said, I, I've got someone I know Dr. Peta Wright, that might be able to help you. There wasn't ever a promise. He was like, I remember he said he was gonna talk to you. Then he got back to me and he is like, just go and try this. You made an appointment. He said, just go and try. Have a go. I just thought at the time, I've got nothing to lose.
Nothing's working at the moment, [00:14:00] and I took that chance, I guess not knowing either, but Rob never planted any seed. There was never a promise of my life was gonna change, even though I took the chance. There was still a doubt in my mind. Oh, well, no one's been able to help me so far, so. I doubt you'll be able to help me, but I took the chance anyway 'cause I had nothing to lose.
What was your experience of your first session with Peta? Do you remember? I do, yeah. I felt instantly relaxed with Peta and it was in my first session that I opened up a lot about my past. It was just like a weight had lifted off my shoulders, and I remember mum being with me and I hadn't spoken to Mum about my experiences.
She knew something wasn't quite right, but Peta was probably the first one I felt safe enough with. It was I, I can't put her down to one thing. It was just, I felt calm and safe in that office. I think it was just the way that Peta approached me. There was never a promise or I'm gonna fix you or. [00:15:00] I'm gonna make your life great.
There was none of that. Peta, just listen. And I think that was the first time someone actually took the time to listen to me. I really think that's what made me feel safe in her office. And then I guess over more appointments, I felt more safe like that. It reiterated the first session of feeling safe, and I think that's where my journey began.
It wasn't easy at times, but this isn't an easy journey. So. Yeah, the heroin's journey, really? Mm-hmm. It's not an easy journey. I was gonna say, we talk a lot and we know now about the nervous system, but how there's that very strong link between the state of our nervous system and increased pain and pelvic pain, and how things that happened to us shape our nervous system.
Mm-hmm. Had anyone in your previous experiences, anyone asked you about? Things that had happened to you in the past? No one ever asked me. There'd probably be hundreds of times [00:16:00] over the years I was in emergency and no one ever asked, but outside of that, no doctor asked, not even my regular gp, even though I think he's amazing.
He didn't have the knowledge either, so he probably didn't really know what questions to ask. Again, when I saw my first gynecologist, there was no time taken to sit down and get my history on anything. Even after my first two gynecologists, I had still had no clue really about anything about my body or about how my cycle worked or anything like that.
I was nearly 30 at the time and no clue about what goes on with my body and, and there was definitely a shame that came with that. Not having the knowledge at that age of, of what goes on. You're definitely not alone. No, I realize that. Now, did you have any intuition before Peta had asked about your history and life experiences [00:17:00] that those sorts of things could be contributing to how your body was feeling?
Like, did you find it odd that she was asking those questions? Yeah. Yeah. And um, guess Peta didn't outright ask. I don't really remember how it all happened, but, uh. I know you didn't come out and go, had this happened or had that happened? It was just in general conversation and I just sort of bloated it out and then we went from there and, but no, I had no idea and I think that's probably why I never, two and two together with my past experiences, they were very separate.
I knew they affected my mental health. Not physical. I, I just, I, I totally separated. Mm, that's so interesting. And I, and I totally separated my mental health from my physical overall as well. I didn't realize the two can be connected and I didn't realize your mental health can really affect your supporting.
How did that feel to have that understanding? Did it make sense to you? Not at first. I think I was still very confused and it took me a few goes of [00:18:00] Peta explaining it. Even when I saw yourself and, and to go through it a few times to really understand. I think definitely at first when I first started seeing Peta, there was a little bit of disbelief.
There was like no, like, no, there's no correlation. But over time, and as I learned more, it made more sense to me. And so instead of separating them, I now see the, I just see my body as one now I don't see it as a separate. So if there's stuff going on with my mental health, I, I know that can affect my body.
And so I'm definitely more aware now, and I, I really think it helps with how I look after myself now. It's definitely different too, before. Mm-hmm. And it can be scary though, too, if you've carried trauma inside for a long time because you kind of face things that you had tried to put into a little box.
Yeah, [00:19:00] absolutely. I went through all that pain, but this was it facing, that was probably one of the hardest things I've had to do because I had pushed it down for so long. I'd suppressed it for so long. I did want to face it. I wanted it to just pretend it never happened and to sweep it under the rug and for it to go away.
But in reality, that never gonna happen. And what I know now, it's just the body will hold that instead. And so to deal with that, it was a scary journey and it didn't happen overnight. We had many sessions, you and I, there was a lot of hard work and there was a lot of times where I was stubborn and didn't do, but I had to figure that out on my own, and I had to really sort of decide, okay, am I gonna try and put in the word and potentially see a different outcome?
Or am I gonna stay where I am? In pain in a cycle, in and outta hospital. And it wasn't an easy decision. 'cause it was definitely parts of me [00:20:00] that was like, I want, like, it was like a little talk. Well, 'cause it's not a decision that you make once, it's a decision that you make every day. Every day. Yeah. In multiple times.
Every moment. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And yeah. So that was a big decision as, as you said, daily. And I had to, there was times where, you know, I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing, like. Nourishing my, I know we spoke many things like with yoga and with seeing Brooke and the exercises she gave me, and there was definitely times where I didn't do anything, and I think there was, at times I expected someone to come and save me as well.
I didn't see that at the time, but now I do. there was times where I just didn't wanna do the work and I wanted someone else to do it for me. But to then realize that, and that honest conversation with myself is a big wake up call to me. And I'm so glad I did that because now I still get pelvic pain, but [00:21:00] so different.
I manage it now and it's not as, it's not scary to me at all. And it's not as, um, big, like the pain's not as bad as it hasn't been anywhere near what it looks. Do you feel like through the process that you've developed, like this mastery lost some self-efficacy or when you were saying, I just wanted someone to come and rescue me because I didn't trust that I could help myself.
Do you feel that that has changed or shifted? Yeah, absolutely. I, I definitely trust my body a lot more now. There's definitely times when I don't, but I think that's everyone though. Yes, everyone. I think there was still a couple of times I may have gone to the hospital throughout our time. Early on I was still going quite a bit, but in the later years.
As it got less. Yeah. There was still times where they, they can't help you. They took medication down this road or they're like, you just here for meds. It still happened, but now it's been a while. I, I can't put a time on it, but it's been a very long time now [00:22:00] and I think each time I get past that urge to go, it just helps my confidence.
It builds more of that muscle and neuro plasticity. Exactly. 'Cause I spent years of my life going in an hour, so it. Became a habit as well. Mm-hmm. And so to break that cycle, it wasn't easy at first, but now if that urge comes up, I just go, okay, I know you're there, but I don't need to work on it. I acknowledge it and I know what it's trying to, I tell me, but I don't, I don't need it.
I can manage it myself. Yeah. I'm curious in those moments to know what is the narrative in your mind and what are the tools you choose? I think now I start with, I play the tape out of previous experiences. Mm-hmm. By me going to emergency, I'm gonna get there. They're gonna give me pain medication, which doesn't help my sister.
I'm gonna be there for hours, which again, no sleep. [00:23:00] That's not gonna help at all. And then I'm gonna be discharged, probably still in pain and going home. So I play the tape out and see. It doesn't make a difference whether I go or not. After I've played the tape out, I look towards, okay, what do I have around me that I could use in this moment?
Put my animals, I heat packs and I, I use things like the senses. What can I see? What can I feel? Um, what can I look at? Um, and I remember after seeing you pull the showers with under candlelight a dark shower just to reduce the overwhelmed by lights or or whatever it may be, just to um, I guess try and calm my system down as much as possible.
And over time the pain would settle, but the self-talk is different. Mm-hmm. The self-talk is like, I know you're in pain right now, but this will pass. You are okay. You've got your dog here, nothing can harm [00:24:00] you in this moment. And I would repeat those sort of things to myself.
Hmm, and eventually I'd fall asleep, it was late at night and wake up either in less, less pain or no pain, and that evidence really helped.
It's in those moments where you've chosen tools to bring your body into regulation, so either with your pets or with shower or those sensors practices.
So you can then change the narrative, but we can't do that mantra if we're in survival mode. That's when we get that integration. It's amazing to see that you are actually building that intuition to know what to choose. Yeah. And that it, I mean, that has been an easy journey itself. So, um, it's not something that will just automatically happen overnight for you.
That takes work and time when I'm not in pain to practice those things. And I think that's what really helped. In the end, I remember Peta saying, you've gotta practice these things when you're [00:25:00] not in pain as well. And I just wouldn't, and I'm sure I frustrated you at times, but I got there in the end.
But it's, you say that, but I also think, I mean, would you be hard pressed to find another person who actually a hundred percent to doing this kind of work? Not just on the main stuff, but on actually, um, it. Deeper stuff to like where, where you were saying I hated my body. Like that has been the other, I'm just, I'm just looking at you right now.
You're wearing this beautiful floral dress. You've got your nails painted. The transformation of, not that you have to have your nails painted wherever, floral, you have transformation of those little things. And I've seen that in the way and like from really big examples like seeing you in my office sometimes.
When you did feel like, no, this isn't gonna happen. I just can't do this, and the best thing is just to make dress out. I don't want to [00:26:00] remembering any kind of thing that we wanna change. It's like hardly anyone just goes, yes, I'm gonna change that, and then they don't have set back. People have set backs and mentality.
I still do. I guess what I know now, I can just get up and go again and try again and do my best the next day. We all have setbacks in life. I see so much beauty now in being a woman. I see beauty in periods and I see beauty as I get older. Whatever happens is like there's definitely a beauty I, yeah, A, a beauty I see in being a woman now, whereas I didn't want it part of that.
So when do you think you first felt a sense of safety for you? Probably at the start of last year was the first sort of time where I guess I started to feel safer in my body. Before that, there was plenty of glimpses over over the years, but even after the work I did last year, I, I can say now, majority of the time, much, [00:27:00] not percent of the time now, I feel safe in my body.
And I think to me it's probably unrealistic to feel safer a hundred percent of the time because I think when people that haven't been through these experiences don't a hundred percent feel safe in their bodies all the time. And I think dropping that expectation helped as well. So yeah, I, I think now this majority of the time, I do feel safe within my body, but I also, with the times that I don't feel safe, I don't beat myself up for it.
I try and see what's happening in my environment. For example, if I'm walking home late from a footy game or something like that, it's understandable not to feel safe. So there's, you know, I, I sort of. I, I stop and take a second to have a look at what's happening in my environment or within my body at the time.
There's a difference now with being hypervigilant and feeling a bit unsafe at moment like that. Mm-hmm. And then feeling totally unsafe [00:28:00] altogether in my body and wanting to escape my body. And I've been able to separate now and see that that's okay to, to feel a bit unsafe or to be a bit more cautious at night if I'm coming home for a footy game or if the area.
Maybe isn't quite as a safe and there's no one around to be a bit more cautious, those sort of things. And I couldn't separate them. So yeah, no words to trust. Yeah, I didn't trust anything for anyone. And I think a lot of people would love to hear a little bit about your journey towards body love, because we hear a lot of women talk about their body being disgusting and hating it, and they're such big words to say about.
This vessel that we all live in. Yeah. And you've just had this huge transformation. So tell us about that. I think the first, aside from the work that I've done with Peta, I, I remember the first retreat that we went to, um, and you were actually, you did your a talk at the retreat. [00:29:00] We did an exercise, and I can't remember what exactly it's called, but you asked us to place our hands on.
Well, that's right. That day I got 200 people to hold their Vs in public. Yeah. Um, it was, it was at that point where I probably thought this is like, this is actually possible to really take care and be kinder to myself and fall in love with my body again. I really enjoyed that exercise. Power of being in a room of women.
Who are body. Mm-hmm. Or who are giving permission to each other, to have a body, to have reverence for their body. Like that is just more medicine than I think, you know, it's just really powerful like that. Everybody is that together. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And yeah, so the journey really began there and, um. I bought a mirror like two [00:30:00] days later.
Yeah, I did. I bought it. Yeah. From Drew. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. And so it was those little things like buying a mirror and, and being a little bit uncomfortable and looking at my vulva to start with. It was just having no words towards, um, 'cause it was still a lot of disgust I felt for my body. So I didn't bring, I didn't allow that in my mind.
All I focused on was like, obviously the thoughts that. Came, but I let them, just to make it clear, this is a practice of vulva gazing that Cara was doing. Oh, yeah. So I, I started just a couple of minutes or as long as I could handle just looking, it evolved from there. I still do that now. I still grab the mirror.
It's turned into what something that I really enjoy. And then, yeah, there was definitely conversations with Peta over that time on what, what else can I do? And then working with Rook. And then I came to see you, Paula, and. Did many meditations. That was when I really started to [00:31:00] get into yoga a bit more.
And, um, meditation. I never really, I tried meditation, didn't like it early on, but I really found the meditations we did. I remember we, we even redid the one from the retreat again. Um, but I, I think just learning more about sitting with the meditations and knowing that you can let your brain flow like it.
The thoughts are gonna come, like just to not attach myself to them. And so it was definitely a, a combination of things. It was the mirror work, it was doing the exercises, the meditation, the mental work. I did a lot of mental work as well around that, around that time. I still am to a degree, but it just looks different now.
Um, yeah, so it was, it was a number of different things that sort of came together. It wasn't just any one thing, and, and, and those things took time too. As I said [00:32:00] earlier, it was times where I didn't do the exercise of, gave me, I didn't meditate. I, I didn't use the mirror or, uh, I stayed at home in bed or I let the pain take over, which.
Now I see, you know, that's gonna happen from time to time. From time to time we're gonna have these little setbacks where we do give into pain or we do give into our thoughts. And um, for me now it's about, okay, the next day, how can I bounce back? What can I do to slowly start? Is it a walk that I can start with again?
Is it some yoga? Is it just having a nice cup of tea and sitting down on the couch with a dog? Sometimes it's simple little thing that. Add up, but they're not easy at the same time. You know, there's little times where I really have to, I really like the word force, but it almost is, you have to sort of force yourself even though you think you don't wanna do it.
Turns out something as [00:33:00] simple as having cup tea and sitting down, I think that can just, one, you're getting up, you're moving a little bit. It, it's so simple, yet can help with the mind so much. And all those little things add up over time, and a lot of those things are just routine for me now. I've undone old routines and created new routines for myself, and it does take a lot of work, but I'm so glad I stuck with it.
I see more beauty in life too, not just my body because I'm not consumed by pain or my mental health. Out in nature. And that's really helped as well. Your life has opened up. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Just looking from the outside, one of the questions I was gonna say is we hardly, it's really nice actually.
Yeah. What, like, your life has expand [00:34:00] way more now. I'm living, you know, I'm going off on adventures. I've been on holiday, it's, I'm. Not afraid to try new things either and to take a chance to try new things, to be vulnerable. I live now where I wasn't living. I see even going on my walk when I see an old couple, a mom and a child together, or a dad and a child.
It's the beauty I see now in, in those things warms my heart. Whereas I was in a, I guess you could say black hole. And I couldn't get out. But now I've expanded so much. I volunteer for Meals on Wheels and to deliver meals to mostly elderly. It's the best part about my day to see their face light up, you know, you deliver them a meal.
That warmth my heart so much. And so to be able to do that, to live, to look after myself, [00:35:00] it's definitely a big change from when I guess. I felt like I couldn't even look after myself and wanted someone to save me. Someone did save you. I saved me. Saved you. Yeah. If someone had told me I'd be sitting here now, I would've laughed.
But for you to not judge and allow me to sit in, that really helped. And then, you know the times where you did say, Hey, we can do this. Let's get back on track and do this. And I think 'cause you sat and you'd listened, it made me feel safe as well. It was like finally, someone's listening to me and I can just be in this moment and come and see you, and I can just be however I am like that.
And to me that is just as important as the advice you give, the exercises you give. I think there has to be a balance. What would you say to someone listening who has, who might be at the beginning, the journey of yours was, who might feel. Hopeless and broken [00:36:00] in that dark place where you started. I guess my first thing is it's yucky anyway, so give it a go.
No matter what path you go down, it's going to be yucky. So give those little things a go. Go back to them, even if they didn't the first time, because it's yucky anyway. It's yucky to be in all that pain and it's yucky to be in and outta hospital. And it's dark and it's scary. Either path is scary and it won't change overnight, but you've gotta go through the yet to some beauty, do something different.
Like, you know, that's what I did something different to what I was doing and even through doing something different, there was still those old habits, but there was, change was coming in slowly. As I said, it's yucky anyway, so you've may as well. I try something different. I'm really grateful for where I am now, and I believe that the experiences that have happened to me really have shaped who I am now.
[00:37:00] The only thing I will say though is early education for for women, and I think that's already, you know, we're starting to already see that in the world now. That would be the only thing happened differently. But other than that, you know, I look back now and. The experiences I've had have made me such a strong, incredible, and brave that I had to be brave, I had to be vulnerable, and as horrible as those moments were, I wouldn't change.
Do you think it brought you home to yourself? Yeah, and it taught me, I guess, what I want outta life. What? What is true to me? And it taught me to be true to myself along the way. And even if we go off track a little bit, just come back and be true to you. And that looks so different for everyone. And that's the other thing it taught [00:38:00] me.
It taught me to, it gave me the confidence to stand on my own and not have to go, oh, this person's doing that, so I must have to do that. 'cause that's what everybody does. No, I can be my own person, be my own woman and, and stand on my own and stand in my own beauty. Start to trust your own voice. Yeah. Mm.
Yep. Well, thank you so much for sharing what your journey, which is incredibly vulnerable and brave. Is there anything else you wanna say or anything else you wanna leave with? I think if anyone else is going through this, there is light at the end of the tunnel. There is hope. Things can change. It's not easy and it's yucky and it's hard, but it's yucky anyway, so change is that, that thing that says when the pain of remaining tight in the bud is [00:39:00] worse than the pain of opening, the vulnerability of opening, that's when we change.
Yeah. Well, you've really. I like that blossom. Yeah. Sorry. Thank you so much. It's been wonderful to walk alongside you the last five years. Thank you. And see what you had done for yourself. And so thank you. Thank you, thank you. Thank you.
If Cara's story resonated with you and you are someone living with pelvic pain, we want you to know that you don't have to navigate this alone. Our Heal Your Pelvic Pain Online program is designed to support women on a deeper healing path, integrating education, nervous system regulation, body awareness, and compassion based tools that honor the whole person, not just the pain.
You can access the program via vera wellness.com au. And for practitioners listening, if you're feeling the limitations of a purely biomedical approach and are wanting to support women more deeply, we'd love to invite you [00:40:00] into our Transformational Medicine retreat. Held at Vera this April.
Alongside this, our online practitioner program offers practical embodied tools to help you work with pelvic pain in a way that is trauma informed, integrative, and truly transformational for both your patients and yourself. Thank you for listening, for Holding Space for stories like Caras and for being part of a broader conversation that is changing how pelvic pain is understood and treated.
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For more resources and information, head to our website, vera wellness.com [00:41:00] au.
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DISCLAIMER:
This podcast is for information and educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
